Third stomaversary

Today is year three of living with a stoma. I’d like to tell you we have fallen in love during this time… but we haven’t, I still call it rude names when it misbehaves but… we co-exist.

Which means I exist. Way better than the alternative!

I think it is important that when my “stomaversary” comes around, I take a minute to reflect on where I have been and where I am now. In fact, I should probably treat myself right? (HINT MR J…)

So here are a few key moments from the surgical experience that come back to me on days like today and if you’re on a similar life path I hope you are able to reflect positively, with thanks and remember how far you have come!

The morning of my surgery is engrained in my mind. They allowed Mr J to sneak on the ward before visiting hours, and my parents were stuck in traffic so very nearly didn’t see me before I went to theatre. We were reading the local paper with an article about our cabaret show that we’d put on less than a week before, and the article talked about my bowel cancer journey. All the nurses had a little read too, like to think it made me a little more human to them. I’m so grateful to the NHS, they really have been amazing – they were about to do a major op on me and give me awesome care FOR FREE! (well, you know what I mean)

The next memorable moment was the bed being wheeled into the anaesthetic suite, with Mr J by my side. At this point the adrenaline shakes started and whilst I tried to be chirpy with everyone I just remember thinking “why am I shaking when I’m not cold”… taps in and drugs pumped, I looked at a clock on the wall and it started to melt (like Salvador’s aptly named “Persistence of Memory” ) – Imagine how awful our experiences would be if there were no anaesthetics! Those poor people that underwent operations before it existed. *shudder* Thankful for drugs!

Waking up I knew my shoulder was going to hurt (it’s a gas thing, like being stabbed in the shoulder with a javelin). No pain in my abdo though, as I had an epidural, just off my rocker, convinced I felt on top of the world apparently! I think I woke up in ICU, not sure. ICU has been heavily featured in the news the past 2 years and it really is a scary place to be. I thought it was really positive that I was invited back by Maidstone Hospital months later, to visit when off drugs, so that my painful and distorted memories could try to piece themselves together and I had a full picture of what happened to me when I was unconscious or off with the fairies

My amazing stoma nurses gave me multiple lessons in how to manage my stoma and stoma bag changes, our first lesson was for both Mr J and I – if I can’t do it he needs to know how to!

The rest of the NHS hotel stay had tears and laughter, the ward gave me friends and idols, and the NHS really were brilliant – I even got foot massages! (They asked me what I missed most about being home, and I said Mr J’s foot rubs, so one of the care assistants would give me foot rubs, how cute is that?!)

It is important to remember, no matter how awful it was at the time, I’m lucky that the time passed and I am now fit and well. I’m able to eat normal food, exercise, drink champagne and scuba dive (my first concern!)